More Than Miles: Life Lessons from Travel 9/12

Three years into my employment at a recycling company, I reached a critical moment. Realizing from day one I’d been fed lies—promises of growth and material gain that never materialized—my boss’s mood shifted without warning. My colleagues mocked authenticity, dismissing vulnerability as weakness. My boss, hardened by his own tough life, wielded deceit like a weapon, manipulating and undermining anyone who challenged him. When I stood up to his dishonesty, he rallied my former colleagues—his loyal allies—to sabotage my career. He turned meetings into ambushes, discredited my work, and ostracized me. It felt like a betrayal, but it taught me a profound lesson: self-respect means setting boundaries and walking away from those who thrive on breaking you. Compassionately, I let them go, realizing their emotional wounds ran deeper than mine. Leaving that company was my first true act of love for myself.

That experience, painful as it was, not only echoed lessons I’d later learn on my travels, which shaped both my life and my book. It became the catalyst to finish my book The Morph: Alchemy of the Animal. From the Peruvian jungle to the Andes, West Africa, India, and Nepal, each place taught me how to live authentically by letting go—of fear, ego, and the need to please others.

A Path to Authenticity

In Peru’s jungle, an ayahuasca ceremony revealed my fears—doubts about my worth, my purpose, and my life. The visions were relentless, but they showed me how to release those doubts, like leaves drifting on a river. Letting go freed me to embrace my true self, unburdened by others’ expectations. The Andean mountains deepened this. Hiking alone under a sky so vast it silenced my thoughts, I learned to trust the quiet within. Authenticity, I found, thrives in those unguarded moments where you don’t need to perform.

West Africa, in Ghana, grounded these lessons in boundaries. I worked for people who saw breaking boundaries as a game, pushing past limits without regard. But I also found a community where respect was sacred. One evening, eager to learn, I asked too many questions about a sacred ritual. A healer gently but firmly stopped me, saying I’d overstepped. Her words stung, but they were a gift. Boundaries, she taught me, aren’t walls—they’re bridges to mutual respect. That lesson echoed my time at the recycling company. By honoring her limits, I learned to protect my own, just as leaving that toxic workplace was about honoring my worth. Both experiences shaped how I live and write, letting me create from a place of integrity.

In Varanasi, India, the funeral pyres along the Ganges burned with Hindu cosmology’s truth: creation, preservation, and destruction. Watching the flames, I noticed that letting go—of ego, of attachment—fuels renewal. My struggles, like those at the company, were part of a larger cycle I didn’t need to control. Authenticity meant embracing my imperfections, not hiding them.

In Kathmandu, Nepal, a Buddhist monk taught me peace through stillness. Meditating under his guidance, I learned to observe thoughts without clinging. “Compassion starts with a quiet mind,” he said. That practice became my anchor, helping me approach life and writing with kindness—especially toward myself. Letting go of the need to please others, as I did when I left the company, was an act of compassion rooted in that stillness.

The Psychology of Authenticity

Authenticity aligns your actions with your values, a principle rooted in self-determination theory. Psychologists like Edward Deci show that living authentically boosts well-being by meeting our needs for autonomy and connection. But fear—of rejection or failure—can block this. At the recycling company, I feared losing my job because it was my lifeline at the time, but staying would’ve meant losing myself. Leaving was terrifying, yet it unlocked my autonomy.

This ties to psychological flexibility, the ability to adapt to uncertainty. Research by Barbara Fredrickson suggests that embracing ambiguity, as I did in Peru or India, fosters resilience and creativity. Letting go of rigid roles—employee, people-pleaser—creates space for your true self. My travels and that job taught me that authenticity isn’t about being fearless; it’s about choosing yourself, even when it’s hard.

A Universal Lesson: Experiences Teach More Than Books Alone

No book could replicate the jungle’s pulse, the healer’s gaze in Ghana, or the weight of leaving a toxic job. Experiences teach because they force us to feel, to act, and to grow. The recycling company wasn’t just a job—it was a crucible for self-respect. Similarly, the ayahuasca ceremony in Peru inspired a chapter of The Morph: Alchemy of the Animal, one that weaves surrender and truth into the heart of the book. I’m thrilled to share it when the book launches in a few weeks.

Actionable Steps to Live Authentically

Being true to yourself doesn't require confronting a toxic workplace or consuming ayahuasca. Here are three steps to try this week:

1. Name Your Truth: Write down one fear or expectation holding you back (e.g., “I need to please everyone”). Then write a truth about yourself (e.g., “My worth isn’t tied to others’ approval”). Let the fear go, like leaves on a river.

2. Set a Boundary: Say “no” to one thing that crosses your values—a task, a conversation, or a demand. Start small, like declining an extra favor. Notice how it feels to protect your energy.

3. Practice Compassionate Stillness: Spend five minutes daily in quiet reflection. Focus on your breath and let thoughts pass without judgment. Apps like Insight Timer can help. Use this technique to connect with what feels true to you.

   
   

Looking Ahead

The jungle, the mountains, the pyres, the monasteries—and yes, that recycling company—taught me that authenticity is about choosing yourself, even when it hurts. Letting go of toxic spaces and people is an act of love. As I near the launch of The Morph: Alchemy of the Animal, I’m carrying that truth forward. I hope you’ll try it too—set a boundary or release a fear this week and see who you become.

Next week, I’ll share how a major life setback tested my resilience, deepened my commitment to authenticity, and pushed me to the final stages of the book. Want a glimpse of how my travels shaped the book? Follow along on X for updates as the launch nears!

What’s one moment where you chose yourself over others’ expectations? Share below or on X—I’d love to hear your story!

This post is part of a 12-week series chronicling my journey from darkness to completing my book. Follow along every Monday for new stories, insights, and tips to inspire your own path. Want to stay updated on the book launch? Join my newsletter at themorph88.com or follow me on X @TheMorph88.