Chapter 2: Black Sheep

“A family without a black sheep is not a typical family.” 

— Heinrich Böll

Do you feel out of place? Do you find yourself drifting away from conversations, bored by the empty chatter that seems much of the interest to the people around you? Are you the one who sits quietly at family gathering or friends’ parties, preferring solitude to the small talk exchanged in everyday life? Perhaps you’ve noticed that your interests don’t really align with those around you, and you seek something much deeper—a sense of meaning or a quality connection that eludes the crowds.  Are you the one who walks alone, not because you're forced to, but because you choose to?

If you’ve ever felt this way it might be you are the "black sheep"—the one who stands apart, not out of rebellion, but because you see and feel the world differently. Because God made you different for a reason. So, therefore, you have developed a unique value system and moral compass, guided by inner knowing an intellect questioning societal norms and deeper truths beyond conventional wisdom, that most people just don’t understand. You are not broken.  Your brain is simply tuned to a different frequency, which is what makes you so unique. Your deep perspective and ability to understand complex topics and ideas are normal to you, but not to the most people. The world around you may feel like white noise, but you listen for something more profound, more real.

Throughout human history, black sheep’ have always existed. They are the ones who don’t conform, who question and refuse to accept things at face value. In ancient herds, a black lamb was a rarity, its dark wool marking it as different. That difference, while seen as a flaw, genetic oddity or nature’s own experiment—was a natural twist that made it stand out against the flock. Over time, society began to use this image as a metaphor for those who, in human families, didn’t fit in, who stood apart because they refused to play by the conventional rules. One of the earliest recorded uses in English literature is from 1535 in Sir Thomas More's work A Dialogue of Comfort Against Tribulation.

In todays world to be a black sheep isn’t just about standing apart…it's about seeing beyond the illusions that bind others and not conforming to them.  Most people move through life accepting things as they are; however, the black sheep questions, disrupts and seeks something that others do not.  They are often the quiet ones, the dreamers, the thinkers—those who would rather explore the depths of their own mind than engage in shallow conversation.

But this role of the black sheep is a double-edged sword. For some, it becomes a curse, casting them into isolation, oftentimes misunderstood and judged. Their need for solitude is mistaken for arrogance, their questioning nature can be seen as a threat or dismissed as fabrication. Family gatherings morph into uncomfortable performances where the black sheep struggles to find their place amidst the burden of expectation and tradition.

In families, “black sheep” are often vilified and blamed for disrupting harmony, causing discomfort, offending others, or defying convention, which can trigger profound emotional upheaval. They become the focal point of tensions others fear to confront, yet their presence often reveals cracks already hidden beneath the surface. That is why other people are so afraid to even talk to a black sheep. By refusing to conform, the black sheep exposes the fragility of the collective identity, forcing others to confront truths they'd rather avoid.

As the world evolves, neurobiology is revealing a vital truth: the so-called 'black sheep' isn’t broken human, it’s simply a brain wired differently. What once seemed like misfit behavior is often just a variation in the nervous system, not a defect. So next time you meet someone who speaks with insight on topics others believe require a degree, recognize the quiet courage it takes. To challenge the accepted narrative is no small act. Yet in doing so, they earn something rare: the freedom to write their own story—unbound by the credentials or constraints that once defined them.

Still for todays world it is very hard to accept this, it’s important to realize that the black sheep is not a sign of dysfunction but of deeper awareness. They are the ones who refuse to settle for a life that doesn't resonate with their true self. They search for depth and authenticity; and in doing so, they remind the rest of us that there is more to life than following the herd.

So, if you find yourself standing on the outside, feeling like you don't belong, maybe it's because you're not meant to fit in. Perhaps you are meant to walk your own path, one that is richer, more profound and ultimately more real. It may be a lonelier life, but it is also freer; and in that freedom lies the potential to discover truths that the ‘’white sheep’ ’flock will never see.

Alex became the “black sheep,” his journey unfolding as life transpired, reinforcing the family’s psychological tensions. His neurobiological differences emerged against the backdrop of familial changes. As Alex and Dave's friendship took root in the sunbaked courtyard, a stark contrast to the cold reality of Alex's family life emerged behind closed doors.

Asar’s heart cautiously opened to new possibilities, as she found comfort in Peter's steady presence. Yet, each time she caught Alex's confused gaze darting between Peter and the empty space left by Victor, a mixture of guilt and frustration clouded her newfound contentment.

By the time he was five, Alex found himself at the center of a familial web woven with threads of confusion and misunderstanding, unspoken resentment and growing distance. Three grandmothers and two grandfathers, rather than showering him with affection, some regarded him with a mixture of bewilderment and barely concealed disappointment, sometimes resentment, sometimes jealousy, even hatred and deliberate ostracism, creating a toxic atmosphere of emotional neglect and unwarranted blame. Their expectations for Alex remained unmet, and their patience wore thin with each passing day.

Alex was a strange curious kid who questioned everything, the introverted wonderer who was more mature than anyone of his age. Not many could understand his hyper personality. Among them, Enura, his paternal grandmother, stood out for her warmth, wisdom and understanding. Self-proclaimed as the youngest grandmother in Klaipeda, she tirelessly worked to maintain the tenuous connection between Alex and his absent father, out of a sense of duty or genuine affection, probably both.

Despite being surrounded by family, Alex felt increasingly isolated. The world outside painted a picture of familial normalcy, but inside, he was becoming the black sheep – a burden no one truly understood or wanted in their presence. With each passing day, his anxiety grew and he began to emotionally withdraw, feeling the gravity of unspoken rejection and a role he couldn't seem to fill.

It was on a sun-drenched afternoon that fate intervened, bringing with it a moment that would reshape Alex's world. As he played with pebbles near his home, tracing aimless patterns in the dirt, the sound of approaching footsteps broke through his solitude. Alex's head snapped up, his heart inexplicably racing as he caught sight of a figure in the distance.

The man who approached was tall, with curly hair and kind eyes that seemed to look right through Alex. In his hand, he held a long stick adorned with colorful candies - a peace offering of sorts. As their eyes met, Alex felt a jolt of recognition, a connection that defied his young mind's ability to comprehend. The encounter was brief and no words were spoken, when the man handed him a stick of candy. As the man walked away, Alex clutched the candy stick to his chest, impressed by the size of candy and its vibrant colors, a tangible reminder of the profound happiness he'd felt in that fleeting moment - a stark contrast to the emotional void he experienced at home.

Little did anyone know that this seemingly insignificant meeting would become a cornerstone in Alex's journey. The candy stick was more than a treat—it was a lifeline to a part of himself he was only beginning to understand, a glimpse of connection in a world where he felt increasingly disconnected. He wasn't sure what to make of this situation.

Again, his feelings were telling him something, but his young mind was refusing to comprehend.  As the man walked away, it seems he was not alone.  An unknown female figure joined and walked away alongside him.  Alex stood alone, feeling uplifted and also sad.

Alex hunched over the courtyard’s warm stones, the candy stick’s transparent plastic case a fragile star in his palm. The world sizzled with summer energy around him—a cacophony of footsteps, shouts, and the neighbor’s radio spitting static, each sound a needle pricking his skin. His mind wasn’t like theirs, not a quiet pond but a river of fireflies, each thought a darting light too bright, too fast for the family’s gray expectations. They wanted straight lines—sit still, smile, speak when spoken to—but Alex’s thoughts spun in fractals, daydreaming, weaving colors from the creak of a gate, the tang of dust, the stranger’s fleeting smile. Their pinched lips called him odd, their sighs a pressure that clenched his chest, but the stranger’s eyes had been a mirror, reflecting not a flaw but a flame. What if this river inside him wasn’t wrong? What if its wild currents carried truths the others couldn’t see? He traced the candy pipe edge, its crinkle a soft song only he could hear, and for a moment, the noise of the world fell silent, leaving just the pulse of a boy who burned too brightly to blend in.

He didn't even know who this man was, yet he felt the stranger was inexplicably significant—a small figure dwarfed by the enormity of his own emotions. The longing that bloomed in his heart that moment would grow roots, deep and strong shaping the boy he was and the man he would become. For now, memories of candy sticks remained a symbol of unresolved complexities within the boy. A black sheep standing on the precipice of a journey that would challenge everything he thought he knew. One day, the family will come to know just how significant this meeting was for Alex, who will soon become an enigma, a symbol of unresolved complexities within the family itself.

But for now, all that remains is…longing.